But even now… week 36, 2010

“Occasionally I wonder if God still loves me; I have prayed and don’t seem to get better.” He may appear to delay, but His love is real. Remember Now Jesus loved Martha and her sister and Lazarus. Yet, when he heard that Lazarus was ill, he stayed where he was for two days Jn 11:5,6(ISV). I know you will see God’s power in your situation too. “I just feel deflated. Perhaps somehow He is going to take glory in this situation.” Was it not raising Lazarus from the grave and healing the man born blind that gave glory to Jesus? But when Jesus heard it, he said, "This illness is not meant to end in death. It is for God's glory, so that the Son of God may be glorified through it." Jn 11:4(ISV). He will glorify Himself by answering you.
“It’s not like I doubt God’s power to heal. I know He can do all things. It’s just that, you know, I don’t really think He wants to heal me.” How could you think that? Have you read that: Suddenly a man with leprosy came and knelt in front of Jesus. He said, "Lord, you have the power to make me well, if only you wanted to." Jesus put his hand on the man and said, "I want to! Now you are well." At once the man's leprosy disappeared Mat 8:2, 3(CEV). He has not changed. He definitely wants you whole, and reaches out to touch you.
“I had such faith at the beginning of this matter, but now…” Wait, wait, wait. Many have been in your shoes. Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died Jn 11:21(ISV) . However in faith she also said But even now I know that whatever you ask of God, God will give it to you." Jn 11:22(ISV). There may have been a delay; it does not mean God won’t do it. Trust that even now God will yet answer.
“I just feel like crying.” Please don’t make Jesus cry. “What do you mean?” When Mary came to Jesus and just fell and cried "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died." Jn 11:32(ISV). Jesus wept Jn 11:35(KJV). She was one person that remained at His feet listening to His words. Of all people she should believe no matter what. You have listened to Him night and day, and seen Him in other areas of your life. Trust Him also at this hour. Tell Him “even now I know you will still do it”. His word will come to pass. The Lord is good to those who are waiting for him, to the soul which is looking for him. It is good to go on hoping and quietly waiting for the salvation of the Lord Lam 3:25, 26(BBE).