Forgive the betrayer Week 50, 2013

Can anyone ever argue in favour of any sin? Dare we suggest tolerance for the deepest of betrayals or be seen to make light of infidelity? Nay. But no wound is so deep that we allow the wounded die; no offence so grievous that we watch the offended in prison. To wound a spouse by adultery is unforgivable to many, yet Hosea’s wife was unfaithful and adulterous, and what did God say?  Then the LORD told me: "Go love your wife again, even though she is being loved by another and is committing adultery. Love her the same way the LORD loves the people of Israel, even though they look to other gods… Hos 3:1(ISV).

To the adulterer I have one word, “Repent in dust and ashes”. Adultery exacts payment far in excess of the pleasure it offers. And whoever committeth adultery with a woman lacketh understanding: he that doeth it destroyeth his own soul. A wound and dishonor shall he get; and his reproach shall not be wiped away Pro 6:32(Webster). To the wounded: No spouse is worth a strained relationship with God. Even if we cannot prevent a spouse’s unfaithfulness, we must prevent it (no matter how recurrent) from harming our own relationship with God by bitterness, unforgiveness or hardness. Remember God is not partial and always judges by the same standards. What He said to Hosea is what He says to you now o man: love your adulterous wife. O woman love your adulterous husband! For God shows no partiality. Rom 2:11 (ESV).

You know the pain we cause God when we worship idols is akin to adultery. Yes all greed, covetousness, and worldliness is adultery. For you know very well that no immoral or impure person, or anyone who is greedy (that is, an idolater), has an inheritance in the kingdom of the Messiah and of God Eph 5:5(ISV). Yet after His gross displeasure and chastisement God says “return”. Since God refuses to send us away permanently when we most certainly deserve worse, can we not seek to be imitators of God?

When the refusal to repent causes separation stick to1Cor 7:10-11(ISV):   To married people I give this command (not really I, but the Lord): A wife must not leave her husband.  But if she does leave him, she must remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband. Likewise, a husband must not abandon his wife. Seek reconciliation if estranged, or else remain unmarried. The marriage relationship is a mirror of our relationship with God, of Christ with His church. If we give room for irreconcilable differences with spouses then we say there are irreconcilable differences with us and God too.

If this sounds hard to you, remember it also did to the disciples. His disciples asked him, "If that is the relationship of a man with his wife, it's not worth getting married!" Mat 19:10(ISV). Since God plans no divorce for you, know how to pray for your spouse. Know how to approach your marriage. Grace2u.

I hate divorce Week 49, 2013

What of this knotty issue of divorce? What is God’s mind on the matter? I have read the Bible several times and am yet to find a place where the Holy Spirit spoke to anyone to divorce! If you find one please tell me. Several punishments are prescribed for sin but I am yet to see where divorce is ever prescribed by God. I see where God asked Abraham to put away a second wife: But what does the Scripture say? "Drive out the slave woman and her son…” Gal 4:30(ISV).  I see where returnee exiles offered to put away strange wives of their own accord. Now let us make an agreement before our God to send away all these women and their children. We will do that to follow the advice of Ezra and the people who respect the laws of our God Ez 10:3(ERV). (May I say to practice this will be contrary to the spirit of keeping vows made before the Lord as with Joshua and Gibeon in Josh9:18-20). Did they inquire from God as Moses does in issues, did the Spirit speak? Second wives may also have been there.

Instead I hear "I hate divorce," says the LORD God of Israel. "I hate it when one of you does such a cruel thing to his wife. Make sure that you do not break your promise to be faithful to your wife." Mal 2:16(GNB)  God is saying categorically “I hate it”. 

Our key passage was on the question of divorce. And Jesus says “Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate." Mat 19:6(NIV) It is God that joins. He does not separate: it is man doing the separating. Jesus made it clear the permission to divorce came from Moses (not God), and it was the result of the hardness of heart. He told them, "It was because of your hardness of heart that Moses allowed you to divorce your wives. But from the beginning it was not this way Mt 19:8(ISV). When something hardens the heart Moses allowed it. Have you ever considered what hardens the heart? Is it the love of God? Is it the fullness of the Spirit? Is it the wisdom from above (James3:17)? No. It is Sin. Instead, continue to encourage one another every day, as long as it is called "Today," so that none of you may be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin Heb 3:13(ISV).  That God does not accept that separation is obvious in the warning "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if a woman divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery." Mk 10:11-12(ISV).  I want you to note the present continuous tense used here. It is not “has committed” but “commits”. Do not for sexual gratification risk eternity. We shall come to the matter of adultery.

The 25 year wait Week 48, 2013

You may not understand me. Even if you have waited three years, even 12 years you may not understand me. We got married in 1988 and decided to wait six months before having any baby so that we could get to know ourselves better. Six months now turned into 25 years. Many marriages have been shaken when even a year passed without the fruit of the womb. The good thing was that in the six months both of us got born again and became involved in the full gospel businessmen’s fellowship. We never went to native doctors in the period. I heard of places to go, was told of “eze nwayi  if she just looks at you, you will become pregnant” but never went. Not for one second did we go to any prayer house. We simply trusted God.

We never went outside the bible and medicine. My husband is a doctor and didn’t need to be told about that. We ran several tests and they all came out negative. “Nothing is wrong with you” we were told. Why then were the babies not coming? I had been on several prayer lines, been prayed for by so many ministers, but God took His time. He crushed us and then blessed us. I have worn blessed mantles for months, up to six months placing them on my womb (still no pregnancy) and then putting them aside. My case was like a basket into which so many people threw in prayers; no one could take the credit that after he prayed God did it.

At a point I became the focus of much attention. When prayers for the fruit of the womb were announced people would look round to see “Is Ify coming out?” If I did not some decided “She is proud” but I decided “God you know me. You know my address; whenever it pleases You, You will do it.” My husband never quarrelled with me on the matter. It never was a point of quarrel even for one minute. He only became angry with me when it appeared my faith was going down. Someone came and suggested adoption in the period to us and he angrily said “God has told me we will have children!” I am not against adoption but we believed God. Among my husband’s relations no one chided us on the matter; how would anyone shape the mouth to say it? Even my sister Nonye never rebuked me or complained. I know they all prayed. Unknown to us many held vigils, fasting and prayer sessions on our behalf. Our faith was up, very high in the period, at least in the first ten years. Then everyone’s faith went down, or let me speak for myself; mine did.

When after 25 years I was pregnant no nausea, vomiting or strange craving appeared. I was very strong. My husband insisted the delivery would be in a public hospital where all could see lest people say we arranged a secret adoption from abroad. My antenatal checkups were usually brief, but this last one when the nurses rechecked my blood pressure and urine sample I knew something was happening. My legs were swollen and when Prof Ezegui saw me that day he insisted on doing the caesarean section immediately; he would not allow me go home. And so I was wheeled to theatre and out came the twins: male and female. Suddenly protocol was broken: brethren surged in to see and UNTH was transformed into a revival ground and God was harvesting praise. Jehovah indeed has the final say.

 Prof and Mrs Gilbert Adimorah live in Enugu

Two made one Week 47, 2013

It is necessary to seek the purpose of every devise, for success is found in fulfilling the maker’s purpose and good pleasure. What is God’s purpose in marriage? It is much more than a license for coitus. I make bold to say marriage is no cure for sexual immorality. It helps prevent it alright (1Cor7:2-5), but cannot cure it (ask David: none of his wives kept him from taking Bathsheba).  You will quickly tell me it is to help the man, to remove loneliness. I agree. But there is more. “Ah yes, it is also to protect the woman and provide for her”. Beautiful! But there IS more.

That is why a man will leave his father and mother and be united with his wife, and the two will become one flesh Mat 19:5(ISV).  Listen to the wording: “united”, and “one flesh”. Many people crave marriage partners, fast for that “God’s will” in marriage, but have not worked on God’s purpose in marriage; as though that purpose must automatically happen. Sorry to disappoint you but finding God’s choice for marriage is not in itself the guarantee for marital bliss. Did God not choose Jeroboam? Yet his reign was a colossal failure. God handpicked Saul to be king of Israel yet he was a disappointment to God. Marriage is not a destination but a journey. It is work in progress, not a finished mansion.

God’s purpose is to bring a union, a union that brings His rule and dominance on their sphere of influence. It takes a male and female to bring in the full complement of humanity in the right mix. “The people are one and they all have one language, and this is what they begin to do; now nothing that they propose to do will be withheld from them” Gen 11:6 (NKJV). It appears even the heavens resources are tapped by complete unity: Look how good and how pleasant it is when brothers live together in unity! For there the LORD commanded his blessing— Ps 133:1, 3(ISV). What kind of unity does He require? I appeal to you, brothers, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another so that there may be no divisions among you and that you may be perfectly united in mind and thought 1 Cor 1:10 (NIV). To get one flesh the sperm must first give up its whole body, coat, tail and cytoplasm to unite with the egg. And both must first shed half their inmost beings. It is actually impossible to have this type of unity between those who have yet to believe in Jesus and disciples of Christ: what do a believer and an unbeliever have in common? What agreement can a temple of God make with idols? 2Cor 6:15-16(ISV).  It takes just two who are perfectly united in heart and purpose to get anything and everything they ask God in their prayers (Matt18:19), indeed to achieve things we set out for unity is compulsory. It is this kind of unity that brings about godly offspring. Didn't God make you one body and spirit with her? What was his purpose in this? It was that you should have children who are truly God's people Mal 2:15(GNT). Are you married, yet to wed? Aim at perfect unity to achieve God’s design. There is more.